Funny Harry Potter Quotes Book 1

"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" "No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick." Then he ran before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

"Oh, are you a prefect Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea." "Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..." "Or twice-" "A minute-" "All summer-" “Shut up!”

“Now, you two – this year you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve – you’ve blown up a toilet or –” “Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.” “Great idea though, thanks, Mom.” “Don’t [cry], Ginny, we’ll send you loads of owls.” “We’ll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.” “George!” “Only joking, Mom.”

“Welcome!” he (Dumbledore) said. “Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!”

"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

“Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?" "Obviously, you’ve just done so,” Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one more thing, however." "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" "I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared. "One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

“So light a fire!" Harry choked. "Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands. "HAVE YOU GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!


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