Funny Harry Potter Quotes Book 4
“Enjoying it?” said Ron darkly. “I don’t reckon he’d come home if Dad didn’t make him. He’s obsessed. Just don’t get him on the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch…as I was saying to Mr. Crouch… Mr. Crouch is of the opinion… Mr. Crouch was telling me… They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.”
“Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.” “Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?” said Fred. “That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!” said Percy, going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!” “It was,” Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. “We sent it.” "Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap. You can't walk around like that, the Muggle at the gate's already getting suspicious-" "I bought this in a Muggle shop," said the old wizard stubbornly. "Muggles wear them." "Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers. "I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."
“Dad’s having fun with the matches,” said Fred. Mr. Weasley was having no success at all in lighting the fire, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Splintered matches littered the ground around him, but he looked like he was having the time of his life. “Oops!” he said as he managed to light a match and promptly dropped it in surprise.
Ron pulled out his Omnioculars and started testing them, staring down on the other side of the stadium. “Wild!” he said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. “I can make that old bloke pick his nose again…and again…and again…”
“Look at the referee!” [Hermione] said, giggling. Harry looked down at the field. Hassan Mostafa had landed right in front of the dancing veela, and was acting very oddly indeed. He was flexing his muscles and smoothing his mustache excitedly. “Now, we can’t have that!” said Ludo Bagman, though he sounded highly amused. “Somebody slap the referee!”
[Ron] was holding up something that looked to Harry like a long, maroon velvet dress. It had a moldy looking lace frill at the collar and matching lace cuffs. There was a knock on the door, and Mrs. Weasley entered, carrying an armful of freshly laundered Hogwarts robes… “Mum, you’ve given me Ginny’s new dress,” said Ron, handing it out to her. “Of course I Haven’t,” said Mrs. Weasley. “That’s for you. Dress robes.” “What?” said Ron looking horror-struck. “Dress robed!” repeated Mrs. Weasley. “It says on your school list that you’re supposed to have dress robes this year…” “I’ll go starkers before I put that on,” said Ron stubbornly… “Fine,” snapped Mrs. Weasley. “Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a good laugh.”
“Well, I can certainly see why we’re trying to keep them alive,” said Malfoy sarcastically. “Who wouldn’t want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?”
"Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?" "It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart. "Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.
“Don’t talk to me,” Ron said quietly to Harry ad Hermione as they sat down at the Gryffindor table a few minutes later, surrounded on all sides by excited talk on all sides about what had just happened. “Why not?” said Hermione in surprise. "Because, I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."
“You seem to be drowning twice,” said Hermione. “Oh, am I?” said Ron peering down at his predictions. “I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff.”
“You only like him because he’s handsome,” said Ron scathingly. “Excuse me, I don't like people just because they're handsome!” said Hermione indignantly. Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like “Lockhart!” Ron’s eyebrows rose so high they were in danger of disappearing into his hair.
"Harry, I've been thinking - you know what we've got to do, don't you? Straight away, the moment we get back to the castle?" "Yeah, give Ron a good kick up the-" "Write to Sirius."
“Enchantingly nasty,” said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. I particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat.” Rita Skeeter didn’t look remotely abashed. “I was just making the point that some of your ideas are a little old-fashioned, Dumbledore, and that many wizards in the street—” “I will be delighted to hear the reasoning behind the rudeness, Rita,” said Dumbledore, with a courteous bow and a smile, “but I’m afraid we will have to discuss the matter later. The Weighing of the Wands is about to start, and it cannot take place if one of our champions is hidden in a broom cupboard.”
[Harry] managed to make a fly zoom straight into his hand, though he wasn’t entirely sure this was because of his prowess at Summoning Charms—perhaps the fly was just stupid.
“What was that?” said Seamus Finnigan, staring at the egg as Harry slammed it shut again. “Sounded like a banshee… Maybe you’ve got to get past one next, Harry!” “It was someone being tortured!” said Neville, who had gone very white and spilled sausage rolls all over the floor. “You’re going to have to fight the Cruciatus Curse!” "Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."
“As I sat here, absorbed in my needlework, the urge to consult the orb overpowered me. I arose, I settled myself before it, and I gazed into its crystalline depths… and what do you think I saw gazing back at me?” “An ugly old bat in outsize specs?” Ron muttered under his breath.
“Wangoballwime?” “Sorry?” said Cho. “D’you—d’you want to go to the ball with me?” said Harry. Why did he have to go red now? Why?
But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light. "Hermione, Neville's right --- you are a girl...." "Oh well spotted," she said acidly.
Harry and Ron both whipped around, but Hermione said loudly, waving over Malfoy’s shoulder, “Hello, Professor Moody!” Malfoy went pale and jumped backward, looking wildly around for Moody, but he was still up at the staff table, finishing his stew. “Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?” said Hermione scathingly, and she, Harry and Ron went up the marble staircase laughing heartily.
"I told you!" Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down the article. "I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She's made you out to be some sort of - scarlet woman!" Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. "Scarlet woman?" she repeated, shaking with surprised giggles as she looked around at Ron.
“Poor old Snuffles,” said Ron, breathing deeply. “He must really like you, Harry…Imagine having to live off rats.”
“Yes,” said Harry. “Professor—I was in Divination just now, and—er—I fell asleep.”
He hesitated here, wondering if a reprimand was coming, but Dumbledore merely said, “Quite understandable. Continue.”
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